Tom: I m going to come back and I m going to start a therapeutic massage center only for for…
Mark: I m going to start my own nudist colony
Tom: That would be grose, you tried that in our bus one time
Mark: I tried to start our own nudist colony in our bus and it was pretty much just me hanging out naked, they love you Tom
Tom: They love me so fuck everybody else
Mark: Yea fuck all you guys out there that are cheering, yea we hate you Tom you suck dick burn in hell
Tom: Yea fuck that, hey I say I say fuck the hating Tom thing that s what I say, are we ready Mark
Mark: You know what it is you know what it is a lot of these people are just now hopping on the we hate Tom bandwagon, like I ve been hating tom since like 1995 I m old school hating Tom guy alright
Tom: Oh shit, hey let s all say some dirty words, everybody say fuck, everybody say shit, everyone say dick, everyone say Mark s an ass hole
Mark: Everyone say, everyone say we hate Mark, yea
Tom: Hey now let s do this one, everyone say fuck fuck shit fuck, that s the kind of words you should be using at home kids
Mark: That s right
Tom: What do we do now
Mark: I want everyone to call me an ass hole again
Tom: What s up I like your hair it s very nice
Mark: You like his hair oh cool thanks he probably appreciates that a lot
Tom: I wanted to say I liked your but but I thought that was to foward you know
Mark: Hey this next song is for all the ladies in the hezouse, hea he it s for all the ladies in the heoueoueouze
Tom: Mark!
Mark: What
Tom: Shut the fuck up
Mark: It s for all the ladies in the houaeiouze, weee. Hey you know what hang on I want to make this like a
Tom: (belch) exuse me
Mark: Exuse Tom
Tom: Sorry
Mark: I want to make this like a big golf tournimant everyone shut up everybody just clap like it s a golf tourniment
Tom: That s what it sounds like when I get done having sex, 15,000 people cheering me on, I could take all of you in my bed right fucking now, but you re not invited Mark. You have got giant boobs and I doubt you re 18, do you have a note from your mom, I want to meet your mom…
Mark: Hey put those 13 year old boobs away, if I wanted to see 13 year old boobs I d hang out by the Junior high like my dad like my dad does
Tom: Hey you know what I learned in fifth grade
Mark: What s that your dad has a bent weiner
Tom: My dad s weiner was bigger than mine then and still is
Mark: I want everyone here to scream, fuck you Tom,we fucking hate you you re going to burn in hell and die a horrible firery death cause we hate you stupid pieces of shit
Tom: I heard that
Mark: Thanks
Tom: You want to give me your shirt, this smells like blood and feces, dinner time ok what does this say here
Mark: It smells like blood and feces, so it s your dad s shirt
Tom: Hey uh just like every other band we believe in a safe form of sex don t we Mark, that we do so Mark s going to tell you about how safe we are
Mark: Let me tell you about the safest form of sex, it s when you get super drunk and you have sex with like ten people totally unprotected and you do intravenous drugs at the same time, no it s not true
Tom: It s not true you have to carry a weapon. How many of you guys have girlfreinds and how many of your girlfriends have guy friends, I hope you re not having sex
Mark: And more importanly how many of your girlfriends have girlfriends
Tom: Cause we believe in the love that exists between two vaginas
Mark: The most special kind of love of all is the love that exists between two naked women while I watch
Tom: We need her to put her shirt back on
Mark: Please
Tom: It just took away my boner, my boner just died, I had one and now it s gone
Mark: Please I saw your boobs and my wiener ran away. Hey hey hang on everyone everyone seriously I need your attention for just a second please, I think somebody lost a contact down here so everyone look around a contact lense hey someone lost a contact lense so uh…
Tom: I lost my virinity
Mark: Keep an I out for it
Tom: I lost a testacle, hey what if testacles were things you could lose on a everyday basis that would suck, you ve only got three, hey I ve got to go pee pee
Mark: Do you want to go pee and I ll talk to the kids for a second
Tom: Do you think you can talk for enough time
Mark: No uh uh
Tom: Why don t you gather your thoughts
Mark: Why don t you just wet your pants and we ll call it even
Tom: Should I just piss in my pants right here, if you guys all pitch in a dollar each I ll piss my pants right here now, that should pay me about two-hundred bucks maybe
Mark: I ll give you three-hundred dollars to piss your pants right now
Tom: I ll give you four-hundred bucks to eat my shit
Mark: Sold
Tom: Sold, apparently there s a kid that s hurt right now and I think they re helping them out right now, it looks like they re right there
Mark: Make a hole people make a hole
Tom: All you people over there make way for the hurt kid and bring me their wallet
Mark: I wish now you know let me tell you guys something…
Tom: I m gay!
Mark: There s thousands and thousands of people here today there s like semis and fucking buses and multiple bands and all kinds of shit, I wish now I would have taken bass lessons, sorry sorry
Tom: So do I, I wish you did too
Mark: I m thinking for Christmas this year I m going to ask for lessons
Tom: I know a guy, he has sex with his sister, he used his dick to pop her four foot blister, and I know it s not that cool, he fucked her in my swimming pool, he s got three testacles, and he loves to do shit, fuck yea. Hey how come every time we say a joke it has to be about fucking sex masturbation insest, or anything grose like that you know
Mark: Is there anything else in the world
Tom: There s nothing else to talk about
Mark: Hey can you help that little girl out of there she s not having so much fun right now, hey
Tom: Uh exuse me, security guard sir
Mark: The one right in front of you, yea
Tom: Yea that girl right there needs to come out, if you re a small person the front is not the best view, and if you hate seeing shitty bands any of this is not a good view, this whole everything every seat here. Mark s middle name is Rebecca, they thought he was a…
Mark: That s right, my middle names Rebecca because my dad wanted a girl, he treats me like one
Tom: I still have to go pee and I m holding it in still, I ll piss my pants though for money, I ll eat a nugget of my own poop for twenty bucks, I ll pay you twenty bucks and I ll eat it
Mark: You shave your ass
Tom: You have hair on nothing but your balls, Mark has no hair on his whole body but a fucking wolverine growning in his pants, I swear to God, it s got teeth and shit
Mark: It s true
Tom: He s got a scary looking penis
Mark: It s true I need your tax deductable donations for the shave Mark s balls program, please
Tom: It s for charity kids
Mark: Please send what you can, donate your time
Tom: You guys think that we re touring for our own, no this is a charity tour for Mark s balls
Mark: We re trying to raise enough money to shave my nuts, please give generously
Tom: There s no metal strong enough to be the teeth on any kind of electric shaver, what do we do now, oh I need a new guitar
Mark: We need a new guitar, we need a new guitarist, any one out there play guitar
Tom: Does anybody know how to play guitar cause I m not very good, people don t really respect me
Mark: If I were a girl, every time I went to the gynecologist, I d fake an orgasm
Tom: Bad kids
Mark: Bad christmas spirit
Tom: Bad christmas spirit
Mark: Hey ok I need light now
Tom: We re going to point out every single person that didn t sing
Mark: Santa Claus is going to come to your house and shit under all your trees
Tom: Santa Claus is going to come rape your dogs, Oh God you know what I m kind of ashamed of being myself today, and yesterday and the day before that, not really pround of who I am or how I look. Any one have one of those days were you don t even really like what you re wearing, you know, you don t like how your hair looks, and kind of bumed about how your penis is so small and bent and wierd. That is the ugliest but I have ever seen. Let s hear it for not wiping! And this guy fuck wiping dude, brings down the rain forest. Ok this is a song I wrote…
Mark: That guy has a science fair project up his ass
Tom: Uh what head s up seven up, everyone close your eyes and if I come by and if I come by and put my finger in you but than you re the one.
I think that Satan has a couple of comments:
Well kids it s been a really fun show, and I want you all to know that we ll come back soon, but before I go I want to say I think Tom is extemely good looking and all the girls out there should think he s good looking. Tom has one of the best butts that I ve ever seen, shimi shimi coco puff shimi shimi right shimi shimi coco puff. Does anybody here want to sleep with me. I m really a nice guy, it s really not Satan…
It s me it s not Satan let s all be happy he s not here say fuck Satan
Alright I m out of jokes and out of songs, I think we re done.
©
Categorias: Letras Blink-182
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